My name is Mina BK, aged 32 and a permanent resident of Madi Municipality-9, Krishnanagar. Growing up in a remote village of Chitwan, I had dreams just like any other Dalit children. We were four sisters and four brothers. My parents used to work as bonded labor in a landlord’s farm and earned around 2-3 KG of rice for a month. They had to struggle very hard even to feed us.
We four sisters did not get the chance to go to the school. However, all my brothers completed basic education. There was rampant of gender discrimination, and no one used to send their girl children to the school in our Dalit society.
I was only 15 when I got married. My husband was almost 30 years old. He had completed 10th grade and worked as a driver in India. My parents believed that the educated and job holder son- in- law will keep their daughter happy. So, I have also agreed to marry. I was very happy and didn’t know about life after marriage. However, after the marriage my life was never the same again. Only after two years of marriage, I became a mother and gave birth to my daughter.
After three years of marriage, my husband was injured severely in a bus accident. I had to go to India to assist him. He was not able to go to the toilet and take food without support. After regular caring and treatment, slowly his condition improved and he started to work as a car cleaner. I became pregnant again and gave birth to my son.
We already have one daughter who is only 4 years old. It was very difficult to survive with two children because of the low family income. Therefore, I have started to work as a manual labor after the 12 days of delivery. Due to the lack of proper caring and nutrition my son suffered from pneumonia. We finished all of our property for the treatment of my husband and son. I sold my golden ring and other jewelry too, which was given by my husband as a symbol of great fortune (saubhagya) during the marriage ceremony. My husband’s health was improving and he resumed working as a truck driver. I spent more than seven years in India, and decided to go back to Nepal with two children.
Life was going a little bit normal. However, in 2010 my husband again suffered from severe sickness. I went to India to help him. I decided to bring him to Nepal as I thought the treatment cost would be cheaper than in India.
We did everything we could for his treatment in Nepal as we could do. There was no improvement. Finally, the doctor requested my husband’s HIV test. The result was positive. When I heard about the report, I was disheartened and cried a lot. I haven’t seen any way to escape because two innocent children were with me. After a few days, my two children and myself tested. My heart was racing a million miles an hour. My result was positive. Thankfully, my children tested negative, which was a hope to us. I breathed a long.
Those were the days when HIV was considered a disease of immoral people, for which there was no cure. It was hard at the beginning having to face my family. I was angry, all I wanted to die and felt like I had no reason to live, but with my children by my side I was able to heal and started looking after myself and my husband. I had to cope with this problem about which I knew nothing. Most of those early days of the infection I had spent in repeated tests on myself, husband and children.
After acquiring HIV, my husband was severely ill and suffered from illnesses like abscess. He became extremely weak and had to be hospitalized. His family and friends were aware of his status. His parents also started to discriminate against him because of his status. Finally, we were separated from his family and relatives. Besides his family, which has practically disowned him, his friends, who were close to him before, hesitated to talk to him. Even the medical staff at the hospital where he was diagnosed with HIV, treated and discouraged him about his chances of survival, saying, “You will die and could not be recovered.”
As a HIV-positive single mother, it was very hard to survive myself and two growing children. I have been struggling to provide food and other basic needs including school fees for them. It was very difficult to get the work at the local community as all the community people were aware about my status. Therefore, I have to go out of the community to find work. Because I was weak and unable to fight sickness, I didn’t have the energy to do anything.
One day I was informed by my sister about the SUS that they can provide support for the people who are at the bottom of the society and neglected by all. There was a Self-Help Group named, Sital Woman’s Group formed by SUS. I became a member of the group. The group provided me a platform to share my story and my enhanced knowledge. It provided many opportunities to improve my skill and income too. Beside engagement with the group, with proper Antiretroviral Therapy (ART), care and time, my health improved. Nowadays, I am back in the society where I am learning, growing and enhancing knowledge with others in difficulties.
I do not have land, but I do farm in 10 Kattha land in fifty-fifty sharing terms. The farm product is almost enough to feed my family. However, I have been facing difficulties even purchasing stationary and paying school fees for my children, because I do not have other sources of income. Previously, SUS also provided scholarship support to my children. However, the scholarship is stopped for more than five years. I did not know why this was stopped?
I do not hide my health status. My villagers also know that I am an HIV survivor: my husband was also dying of HIV. Previously, I have faced discrimination because of my status. Nowadays, no one discriminates against me as I am also active in social work through Woman’s Group. I am clear that keeping up spirits is an important part of continuing my fight against HIV infection. I am living with the virus without thinking about it, because the uncertainty about death is an undeniable part of life.
My son is small, aged 12 and daughter is aged 16. I especially worry about the education of my daughter. She is studying at grade 10, and very good at studying. She aims to enroll in higher education and want to support to the Dalit children in our village, where as many of the school going age children are out of the school due to the poverty.
I am in this situation due to lack of education and discrimination. Therefore, my dream is to continue and give hope specially to educate my daughter as she will be able to prove herself as a daughter of HIV survivor’s. Therefore, now, I need to earn more money for the higher education of my children. I wish to grow a herd of goats. I am also thinking of starting pig farming, but I need additional support. My last word is if I could do it, you can do it too. I hope my story will inspire everyone.
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