My name is Aarati Paswan. I am 35 years old. I live in Lalbandi Municipality of Sarlihi district. I got married at the age of 13. By 18, I had two sons. The younger one was only three months, when I underwent family planning as suggested by my husband. But slowly things turned worse as my husband got second marriage. In that time, my younger son was only 18 months old.
I was treated bad by my in-laws. My husband forced me to leave the house. I went to live with my mother. In mean time my father passed away. The burden of all children was on my mother’s head. She raised my brother, four sisters and me including my two children. I could not support my mother as I was weak and survived by malnutrition due to the lack of penalty food and care.
With my mother’s support, I enrolled in tailoring training. When my husband got to know about this, he started torturing me again. One day on my way to training, he stopped me. “If you want to go out of home, give me divorce first,”. He beat me mercilessly on the road. After the incident, I reported the case to the local government office.
A council with village men decided that I must live with my husband. I did not get the justice. Again, my life was fall down in the hell. Luckily, my husband decided to go aboard for employment. Meantime, I came in contact with Bimala Gayak, a social worker of SUS. She encouraged me to joined the tailoring training organized by her organization. This left me in awe as I had given up learning. This also made me confident.
I bought a sewing machine and started tailoring business at my home. When Samari organized a six months training on tailoring for other women in the village, I was selected as a trainer. I trained 10 other women like me. They even paid to me. I felt empowered. It was unbelievable moment in my life.
Within the three years, I was able to save some amount of money. I bought a piece of one kattha (0.084 acre) land. That helped me start a new life. I built my own small home there and there was no fear of being sent out. Everything I did was with my tailoring business. My sons are going to the school regularly.
I was living life of my own that dragged the husband and his mother to my home. They offered me to live with them. My husband promised he wouldn’t torture me anymore. We started living together. My daughter-in-law and my husband’s second wife also started helping me. Now a days we would earn 15 to 20 thousand in a month. Besides family, the society looks up to me. If some woman gets in trouble, I am called out. I am one of their guardians. I also work as an insurance agent to a company. Out of 80 people I have helped insuring, 60 are women. I also help providing privilege cards to elderly and people with disabilities for their Social Security Fund. I help people know the facilities provided by local government, health posts, ministry of women and children. Whatever I am now is because of Samari. It brought my family together. I feel proud remembering my own story.
There were days we suffered. My sons were were deprived of family love. Life showed us dark days but I never gave up. People used to talk back. Now I am happy as things have changed. In the society where women weren’t allowed even to look at men, I can interact confidently with everyone despite the gender. Other women have started following the same which makes me immensely happy. I would like to suggest everyone never to lose hope in life and learn something for yourselves. Be patient and things will fall in places. Sufferings lead us to happiness, I assure, start the journey and you’ll be there.
Many people think of ending their lives at difficult situations which is not the solution. Killing yourself means accepting defeat. Live life the way you want and try looking for light at the end of every tunnel. If you are right, you’ll receive right. Stay grounded. It will take you a long way.
Based on the discussion with Aarati and Manoj Paswan, a member of Dalit Story Club, Sarlahi
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